You wouldn’t have seen me within
sniffing distance of these 30 years ago and I like to think that it’s a
discerning palate and not age that accounts for my conversion. I’m sure
there’ll be a whole swathe of people out there who would still step back
quickly at the mention of them but if you belong to that group try and rein in
your prejudice, and stifle any early memories of four sloppy granular balls in
an aluminium container with a cardboard label stamped with the word ‘Brains’,
until you have visited Bro’s Café on Llewellyn’s Quay in Port Talbot, run by Mark and Alison Mizen, and
ordered these little beauties.
Wiki’s page about the origins and evolution of the slang term is well worth a read if only to end up agreeing
with the characters from South Park that, yes, it is an insult but that it only
refers to Harley riders whose
inconsiderately loud motorcycles ruin everyone else's nice time. Love it!
Traditionally made out of pig’s
offal with onion and breadcrumbs – I like to think of it as Welsh haggis... but better, of course — I suppose
you have to at least not mind the taste of liver to really appreciate good home-made
faggots. But surely only the most hyper-sensitive among you could
fail to swoon at Mark Mizen’s tray-baked faggots with a satisfyingly crispy
top. I don’t know Mark’s recipe and I don’t want to because for all future
faggot-hankerings I’ll be coming here. The neighbouring town of Neath likes to think of itself as the faggots and peas capital but the gauntlet is down my little Neathlings.
On Wiki’s other page, devoted to the culinary faggot, there’s an account of a 2004 Somerfield radio advert that
was pulled because it was deemed to have breached the rules
on Good Taste, Decency and Offence to Public Feeling of the Advertising and
Sponsorship Code, and was banned from future re-broadcast by the industry
regulator Ofcom.
A man bored by his wife’s
regimented weekly menus would like lasagne but she tells him he’s having
faggots because it’s Friday. ‘I've
nothing against faggots,’ he says, ‘I just don't fancy them.’ I think it’s
funny. And anyway, in my opinion, these days there’s a whole lot more going on in the
broadcasting industry that needs regulating.
So, throwing all caution aside, I would like to say that I love Mark
Mizen’s faggots. And he can serve them to me any time he likes. Baby. Although
a faggot goes very well with a cracker, as I discovered this weekend and as you
can see below. No offense intended towards the crackers in my life.
Hungry Writing Prompts
- Write about an early memory of food.
- Write about a change of mind.
- Write about a cigarette.
- Write about something heard on the radio.
- Write about offending someone.
